Empathy can arrive in grand, sweeping gestures or in the smallest of moments. Whether it’s expressed loudly or in quiet subtleties—a wink, a nod—it holds the power to make someone’s day, inspire a team to take a project out of the trash and create success, or positively change someone’s life.
On a cold, blustery night in March 1980, our little Minnesota town hosted the Michigan State Trombone Quartet at the high school. Despite their talent, the audience was sparse—seven people, plus the quartet and us: my trombone teacher, two fellow students, and me. Eleven in total.
One of the pieces required me to switch from my comfortable second part to the more difficult first part. I had struggled with it in practice and dreaded my turn. The pressure felt immense, though realistically, any failure that night would remain unnoticed by most of humanity. But I would know.
As the moment approached, I froze. My teacher looked over, raised his eyebrows—a silent question: “Are you ready?” I shook my head. No. I wasn’t.
He paused, then nodded—a quiet, steadying motion—and winked. No words. Just that small, deliberate gesture.
It was enough.
I took a breath and dove into the part, playing it cleanly and finishing the concert with newfound confidence. That simple wink and a nod shifted something in me. It wasn’t just encouragement—it was trust. Trust that I could rise to the occasion. It made my day, changed the outcome of the concert for me and pushed me toward a major breakthrough in my trombone playing that has lasted 40 years.
That moment taught me something profound: the value of empathy doesn’t always come from grand displays. Often, it’s in the quiet, human gestures that build connection.
In the workplace, we label empathy as a “soft skill,” but there’s nothing soft about it. Empathy drives relationships, inspires teams, and cultivates success. Yet studies reveal a gap—nearly half of employees feel companies don’t follow through on empathy initiatives, and over half question their sincerity.
Clearly, there’s more work to be done. Programs and protocols are one thing, but genuine connection? That’s where change begins.
Sometimes, all it takes is a wink and a nod.
